hrm
i hate the opposite sex, and no i dont want to talk about it.


i will be moving to a different journal, that i make of my own.

blah, blah.

long time..
hmmm ok so i dont remember everything that's happened... the friday before spring break 3 friends and i went to the mall and had our pictures taken, I'm going to leave this morning at 10 and go pick up sammy! she finally called! i missed her soooooooooo much and it was great to hear from her again. Anyway, I'm picking her up and we're just gonna hang around ;)

Uhm, yesterday was easter sunday...argued with taylor over a movie. heh. yeah, how lame i know..we always argue over stupid shit. anyway..moving on.

hrmmm..saterday (day before easter) i went over to my aunts house and colored eggs with my little cousin, took all freaking night because we had to wait for annie to get home, she worked until 730-800. long wait. by the time i could go home it was around 1030, made no difference though my worthless good for nothing brother had the computer, like always. all he does is play video games everyday all damn day because nobody ever makes him get the fuck off. but they always scream at me if ive had it over an hour. but eh i guess my life wouldn't be mine if they didnt find some way to scream at me.

the day before that..Friday, Ashley Whisper and me all went to fresno. First we were going to go to boomers, but then once we got there..it basically sucked glass so we left, after it took me an hour to find... as soon as we left I got lost again. heh. great. somehow ended up 30 minutes off route on O street, tried to turn around got lost again, ended up in the f'ing boonies, somewhere by woodward park. bleh@that. Then whisper was like, CYNTHIA I KNOW WHERE WE ARE JUST LISTEN TO ME. So i figured eh wth, might as well listen to my 12 year old cousin...im already so lost it wont make a difference, and so she got me back to where i was familiar and was telling me to get back on the main highway...was like, nuh that cant be the way..so my dumbass doesn't listen..get us lost AGAIN, so I stop for directions, that dumb ho doesn't know what she's talking about.. I ended up in some ghetto area where there were police cars every block, so at a stop light i rolled my window down and asked one how i got back on the main highway, they just kinda smirked at me then told me what street. as soon as I got there whisper was like OK LISTEN TO ME ... so I did, and we ended up at johns incredible pizza, where our main destination was aimed at 2 hours earlier. lol sad huh? ...Ash was crying because she was laughing so hard that I kept getting us lost. (i wanted to cry myself.)

erm the day before that was uh... Thursday, what did i do thursday... oh yeah, I took mom out to dinner. It sucked, the restraunt was really nice..but the workers were stupid as hell. They forgot half of the people's food that sat next to us, so they walked back to the chef & while they were gone another worker decided she'd clean up all of thier meal... so she was all throwing it away, you could tell they hadn't even started, and then they came back and were like.. are you throwing away our food! but she had only thrown away thier drinks so far (she was kinda big and slow) ...id be pissed if i were them too, they had to of waited atleast an hour for thier f'ing food. Mom and I waited over an hour, and then we finally got our food..and mom was like uh, you never brought the appetizer..and she was like ..(no facial expression) and then it finally hit the dumb itch. (yes i forgot the b on purpose) sooo she was like, well i put in an order for it..i dunno what happened and then like 10 minutes later she came out with it, yeah whatever stupid ho...as if we want it AFTER the main meal is brought out. heh. dumbass. Never going there again.

And then three days before that, wednesday tuesday & monday I had ashley and destany over. On wednesday they just stayed the night..we watched a lot of movies and ate a lot of junk food.
Then on tuesday we basically did the same thing, except we cleaned house too. Because my mom called being mean.
And then on wednesday I took them out, first I had to go get my check. Stupid debbie the main manager of mcd's was being a royal itch. mk. Ash needed to use the restroom, so we went in there well, she was in the stall doing her own thing while destany (my little 10 yr old cousin) was standing out with me. Well debbie decides to come in and give me a go to hell look so i just kinda smile at her and ask
"are you busy"
"uh yeah of course i am" ...thought the dumb itch was gonna choke on her f'ing snot she snorted so deep."why?" ..she was curious then, as if i were going to say she weren't.
"well i wanted to pick up my check and was going to ask you if you weren't to busy"
then she just rinsed her hands with water and got a paper towel (Yeah uh Debbie, miss big time f'ing runner of mcd's WAY TO WASH THOSE JERMS AWAY..stupid itch dun you know ALL WORKERS ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO WASH HANDS WITH SOAP, eh the poster had it printer for her on the wall right IN FRONT OF HER FACE. but eh moving on :D
After that, she walked into the uh Out of Order staw, and came out two seconds later slamming it really really hard, destany was covering her ears and like scooted into me lol.. scaredy cat.
Then the fat ass itch walked by me with her nose up in the air..wish I would have thought of sticking my foot out and tripping her tub of lard ass. heh, her nose was so far up she wouldn't of ever known what got her. But I'm to nice for that.
So anyway, ash comes out and washes her hands WITH WATER AND SOAP..yay way to go ash. you're a 13 yr old genious compared to the fat ass itch. And then we walk out, and i look around...the place is EMPTY stupid fat ho is either lazy or she was just being the itch that she is. Because there were hardly anyone there. Anyway, i stand out there by the counter for like 5 minutes and Aaron said hi and other people too, and then debbie walks out past me with a lil smirk on her fat face, which i could barely tell because her chubby ass cheeks cover most of her face, that and her double chin. FACE LIFT HUN. anyway, so then lorissa and i were talking...was like lorissa could you get kim for me please, so she did. Kim is a nice manager, she's actually the one who hired me.
Anyway, she gives me my school papers and crap, my last pay check and we're all talking and stuff, and she asked if i was going to get a new job, was like.. nuh im probably just gonna wait, i want one in coarsegold though if i do get one that way the drive isnt as bad. shes like yeah, i hear ya. lol her expressions are funny. I think shes ready to quit mcd's herself. Everyone else is, thats why the fat ass is raising the starting wage to 7.25 an hour instead of 6.50. Anyway, we're all talking and smiles n stuff when Debbie comes back, she's standing there giving me an evil eye, so then I say my goodbye to Kim, walk by Debbie and give her a smile and say in the happiest voice i can "BYE DEBBIE"...heh, least i can do...right? I hope it pissed her off. :) She had it coming.

After that i took my cousins out for pizza, and then we stopped at coarsegold cafe and had milkshakes and went home. when i got home i went to grab my purse and noticed it wasn't there.. wtf i left it at the store outside on the bench. so anyway i drove there as fast as i could, there was 350 dollars in it. so i was pretty shaky..got there and it was still on the bench. Thank you God. <3. Atleast someone is nice to me?

anyway the sunday and saterday before that, i basically just sat on my fat butt and designed my webpage. I hardly remember talking to Taylor... we haven't really talked that much. I hate it too. It bugs me that I have all this time and didn't get to talk to him very ofter. and lastnight when we argued he was a major asshole. bleh. I DONT NEED THAT. i have enough crap in my so called life. hrm. we did talk more in the begining of spring break than at the end. and i got pissed off lastnight because he was calling me a bitch and telling me to leave....yeah ok taylor, calling me a bitch and telling me to leave is molding a great relationship between us, dont ya think?
heh.
im
so
tired
of
this
crap
.
tired
of
it
.
soooo
oh
sooooooooooooo
tired
of
it
.

------
hmm yesterday dad got a juicer thing. num... im gonna go make me some this morning. it fills you up so fast. weird.
mm today i woke up with a head ache.. i tried to do the timing my sleep thing.. bah! i couldnt fall asleep so i fell asleep about 20 minutes late, so that means i woke up in stage 2-3..bleh. my head still hurts. but the weirdest thing, i remember my dreams :) lol but now that i remember it so vividly im not sharing. it was the most embarrassing thing about myself. lol. :s
anyway, its about 7 am. so im off to school. bleh i hate school. only class i like it psychology. i actually learn in that class. but we are reading a play in english, it pisses me off though that i cant read it on my own and finish it. bah. when i read i like to read it all and be done.. that way i know the ending. i hate waiting. :\

Let`s GeT iT oN iN PubLiC
lol.. mom says that song is slutty & Tay says Milkshake is. Go figure. mmm Not much happened today.. hehe I was driving to school and bleh stupid spider :( I hate spiders! They're always always!! in my care. bah. bleh. blah. But I finally made it to school.
I mailed off my taxes today too. looking forward to those =) hehe. I totally forgot that I had to make a chemistry test so Mr. Nobles was really nice and let me hold it off until tomorrow. But then I remembered I had work tonight, so there'd be no way I could study. And I have an F in english because I didn't turn in two test's. So I just said eff it! and I called in to work sick. I hate working there anyway. They suck!!! all of them. baha. azSh0l3z!.
*ehem* anyway, so now I am going to go study and turn in all of my missing work tomorrow. woohoo. That way my english grade will be back up. And take the test in chemistry. I'm aiming for atleast a D+ Then I'll be happy. heh I suck so much at Chemistry =( Bleh. Wish that I could become A science know-it-all over night. ...yeah right.. wouldn't that be nice. ohhhh and today in psych, Mrs. Brown told us that we would be learning about dreams.. yay I'm so interested in that. And we had a quiz and I did soo good! woohoo. I'm so happy. And everyone was trying to copy, but I ignored em. psh bishnitz's get yer own answers. Anyway, we are going to make journals about our dreams. I'm sooo looking forward to that, because I NEVER remember mine, but she said that she'd teach us how we can. hehe. <3 psych. Oh and I failed another Government quiz. heh. no good. *sigh* ah well. life goes on, right?
Oh and I'm taking Myas song off & adding Kelis's "in public" Is it really that slutty?
}{Cynth}{

10 weeks
hmm.. I know counting makes it worse, but I really can't wait. :p I'm going to be so busy for a while now.. because there's only ten weeks left of school, I have like no time for my senior project. I am quitting my job, but I'll be finding a new one. So that really doesn't give me extra time. hmm.. Tay's a character.

s1nth3a: lol
Taylor: hehe
Taylor: :p
s1nth3a: stoooop fake laughin
Taylor: im not
Taylor: its "hehe" worthy
s1nth3a: psh
Taylor: PSH!
s1nth3a: hehes are for pansys
Taylor: :o
Taylor: well im not as redneck as the guys there so i guess im a pansy
s1nth3a: lol
s1nth3a: bah, that was hehe gay.
s1nth3a: *snickers*
Taylor: oooh..
Taylor: *Pinches your tit*
Taylor: hehe
s1nth3a: lol.. god!

Lol... mean head. it's ok I'll get 'em back. ;] Anyway, not much happened today.. woke up showered
went to work, and then had a 30 min break, ate mcd's food, got sick.. felt the throw up in my throat but it wouldn't come.. so yeah.. ray, a manager let me go home early. & that's about it. I'm such a boring person..lol.

XxX-cynth-XxX

WuTeVeR bItCh
whatever bitch.. whatever bitch. baha. Wutever. suck that. :) lol hrm. lastnight sucked. my days always suck. *shrugs*
Jons a nerd. *ehem*
Anyway, today has sucked. I like myas song though. if you stay long enough, depending on your internet connection..you should be able to hear it :) I'm just that nice. hehe gotta love html. bah I'm such a freaking geek. hrm.. I'll talk more later, but now I wanna go make chocolate.

2 weeks notice
Yeah... so today, I go to school have a quiz in government.. I think I did pretty well. I hope anyway, then I went to psychology & I got a C+ on a 100 point test and then an A on a 15 point test. So eh, it averages out. hmm, and then I went to work.

I hate work so much, so on a ten minute break I called my mom and told her I hated work and didn't want to work there anymore. She was like... well we (her & dad) never said that you had to get a job, that was your own decision. So I was like ok.. what do I do? ..Put in a notice or something? So she was like, yep put in a two weeks notice that way you leave on a good note. Soo I go in to the office and tell the manager that I want to put in my two weeks notice. And she's like, ok just write a not to Kris telling him you're putting in your two weeks notice and not to schedule you anymore..then she was like, can I ask why you're quitting? So I told her about my doctor visits & how the job was causing more stress than it was helping out ..and how I don't like some of the people that work there. (ehem I absolutely hate them without a doubt) But yeah, was being nice. And then she was like, ok well normally I'd try to talk you into staying, but honestly I know what you're talking about & lately I've felt the same way. So I know that it'll do no good. ..Then I was like, ok thankx. And went back to work until 7. Now it's 8:21 pm.

Hrm. So tired. And I have less than 11 weeks to finish my senior project. bah. o0o but Taylor just came on.. he's way early for a friday.. wonder why?

-Cynth-

Yesterday 3.23.04
Ok, so yesterday I woke up... reallllllllllly really tired. A little dissapointed about school :( I hate school so much now. ..So I got to class, just barely made it! Bah I hate being late, but it's in my blood I swear. hrm. Anyway, ...darn I can't remember everything now :( my memory sucks. Oh yeah! we left english class a little early, like 20 minutes early to go to our old english class & pick up our portfolios. Omg! you wouldn't believe this. In my portfolio I had poems, and journal entries.. everything! Oi. There was a whole book of poems, and in my journal almost every entry was about guess who? ...Taylor. lol. Go figure :p It's always about him, but only 'cause he's absolutely adorable & so damn irresistable with his sezy ass. lol. *ehem* Anyway, thennnnnnnn went to all my classes yada yada, at lunch I called dad & had him check me out. mhm mhm mhm I'm such a bad girl. I know. hehe >.< anddddddd then, I went to the store to buy some more stuff so that I could make some more chocolate.... welllll I was like 50 cents or something short, so I was like oi I have more money out in my car, it'll be just a second. And the lady was really nice, it wasn't busy or anything and said ok. So I gave her what money I did have, and went out to my car. Freaking hellll! I look in my purse... wtf are my keys? ..look inside the car... there on the seat, what do I see? *nods* it was a sad sad feeling. lol. I couldn't believe it, that was like my 109832109384129084021984 time of locking my keys inside of my car!

Bah, but Tressa..my grandmother. I told her & after she made fun of me for it, last time she helped me get my door open because I had locked my keys inside of my car with my spare keys sitting on the dash, but left the window cracked...lol sad. I know. Anyway, she drove me home on her lunch break to get my spare keys. lol..sad.

That of course caused me to be late picking James up, so he had to ride the bus. & then he had a baseball game too, and I was late getting there as well! bah. All because I was working on a new website. lol... oi. I'm using image mapping with my psp :D I'm so excited! lol. I made the layout allllll on my own. *nods* ALL on MY OWN. I always do, but this one looks so much better, so I'm so excited! And when I got back from the ball game I made dinner, because I was hungry. Cheeseburgers & french fries... bleh. But that's what mom wanted, so I made it. And then I went to sleep after bitching to Tay on yahoo about not being here... or maybe that was this morning. I dunno. bleh. :( he's never around.


Today 3.24.04

Ok, yeah so today.. I woke up came in here & Taylor messaged me around 1 am. Ass :( I was mad & still am because he never told me that he was staying late at school to work on projects. bleh. Just ask? Damn. and lol.. he messaged me about calling 'em an ass. That's a really bad habbit. But jeez! Tell your freaking girlfriend when you plan on staying late? How hard is it? You're on a computer... double click on Internet Explorer..or w/e it is that you have, type in the address bar "www.hotmail.com" sign in to your account, go to "mail" then "new" type in my email address type in the subject line "sorry im going to be late" and then type in the main message box why you are going to be late.. then press "send" wow, that's to hard to manage isn't it? ...ass. lol.

Anyway, went to all of my classes. Theres 11 more weeks left of school. Yay. :\ So tired of school. & I still haven't started my senior project! bleh :( It's for a good cause though. I'm going to make a quilt & then sell raffle tickets, have a drawing and give it away. And all the money that I raise will go to Sam. He has cancer :\ That's so sad. I feel really sorry for the guy. And I hope that my senior project helps him in some way. But how much should I sell the raffle tickets for? I want to raise money for him, but I don't want an outrageous price. Maybe 2 dollars? hrm. Reminds me, I have tons of homework that I should get started on now.

Taylor's still not home. Guess I shouldn't expect him until 1-2 am? bleh. Soooooooo tired of this. I have no idea where he's at, what he's doing.. or ..hey there he is, imagine that. lol was just about to type "or who he's doing" ..lol oi!

-Cynthia

is it summer yet?
I miss Taylor so much. :( it's not fair, and I hate it a lot. Bleh. & there's nobody to complain to about it. I don't want to cry to Taylor all the time, because that would just upset him or else irritate him. And I don't want that. I just wanna make it through the next 11 weeks without arguing or fighting with him.
I miss the old times. Flirting for hours... talking endlessly without running out of something to say. And all the cute little things he would say... :\ hrm. I really hope that when I visit him it helps out. I hate not knowing what's going to happen. I need him to much to lose him :( bleh it's just not fair. Distance is killing me.

worry wort.

dizzy, nautious, light headed...check, check & check
Well, nothing much has happened. I'm a lot irritated. Taylor insists on NEVER talking about us seeing each other... visiting. And it's so hard, I feel like our relationship has come to a stop..that it's not going anywhere & I'm dying for it too. It's almost been a year since I've last seen him :\ I hate that. I've completely forgotten everything about that visit. I don't know what he smells like anymore, I can barely remember the facial expressions that he made, that I adored so much. I can't remember how much taller he was than me, I've forgotten what it's like to kiss him, to hug him.. to even just snuggle. It seems like just yesterday in my head.. but yet I can't remember any of it. And it depresses me. I hate it. I don't understand why we can't talk about planning another visit.

I was told that I would have to wait two years before we could even think about living together. Well Fine, if I have to, I'll wait. But I'm not waiting two years to see him again. I can't. It hurts too much. It's not fair that everyone else in the world has thier one person, and takes them for granted just because they don't realise how lucky they are to even live within walking distance of them. Why can't Taylor and I live within walking distance? All I want is to see him.

I know that it's hard right now, and that he can't visit me because of school or what not, but I have a job, and am saving up. Why can't I go visit him? Bleh. :\ Just Bleh.

I went for a run, and everytime I thought about it I went faster, and it fealt good. My throat was burning and I was shaking after it, but it still fealt good. I want to work on my webpage tonight. But I'm too exhausted, and just bleh. Maybe later.


Maybe Later.